We can't stop the daemons from ... inside. We can only .... hide them . .. for a while.by the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
We can't stop the daemons from ... inside. We can only .... hide them . .. for a while.by the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
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I continue ... meditating ... at the same annoying question ... why the hell relationships don't work on long term?!
And i've saw so, so many people loving each other so much into the beginning ... but later on i ... somehow felt ... that there is so much hate between them.
Which is ... a nonsense.
... a total nonsense.
I look again into my past ... and feel that if i would meet any of my last partners ... most certainly i would be very, very impolite with them.
.... even after such a long time.
And ... it's funny ... cause at that time ... i really loved all those women.
... at least for a while.
But ... going deeper and deeper into my analysis ... realising that all is duality and ... in love relationships we are acting
like angels, but also as devils ... a weird idea came into my mind.
Somehow ... the passing of time ... made me become aware that we'll not really get what we want from that person.
Liking that partner ... we start negotiating ... and even make psychological pressure.
On ... and on ... and on.
I did that.
I wanted to be with that person ... so i've expressed all my thoughts ... and feelings ... hoping that i'll be understood ... and I'll experience exactly the scenario i wanted to experience.
But ... it was not possible ...
At least ... not with that person.
Unfortunately ... like an idiot ... i couldn't accepting the obvious truth ... so I continued ... pushing.
I've became ... annoyed.
... angry.
... frustrated.
And ... my whole attitude ... changed.
Yeah ... going back in time ... analysing all with detachment ... I understand that even if i was actually acted as an angel into the beginning ... i've ended all the time the relationships ... as a devil.
I was maybe ... too frustrated.
... much too dominated ... by negativity ... so i could not hide my inner daemons anymore.
Somehow ... all was metamorphosed.
Most certainly ... that happened on the other side .... too.
We could not ... calm those stupid daemons ... which had a totally different perception about how things should happen.
And ... all was fucked up.
I meditate ... again.
I clearly saw ... how all happened ... and ... I understand it's all related to the dominance of our duality.
I want to accept that ... but i just can't.
So ... of course ... i've just allowed as things to continue ... the way they usually happen.
... the angel ... becomes a devil.
And ... all is ruined.
Again ... and again ... and again.
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in love ... but still playing psychological games -
philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE.
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